Somehow we got lost along the way!

As a couple we started this blog back in 2009, with the enthusiasm of a fly with a life expectancy of 2 weeks....DOA. Here it is 2014 and we are back. My apologies for the lost time ( life got in the way). Let's recount......bought a home, bought two cars (his and hers), tried to get pregnant (3 times) didn't work, tried to adopt to no avail, but perseverance is the salt of success. I say all these things about 30 lbs heavier and a lot wiser. I am sure to fail a biometric screening soon in the near future! We cannot tell what the future may bring but rest assured it will bring something rather you like or not so get prepared for the happy or sad motocon.

From Him: Weighing In

Blogging , Blogging, Blogging. I started this experiment with my wife to see how far we/I could get....you know looking interested enough to get points and to be able to get to do what you want later on type look. Somehow it got to me, it allowed me to focus on the daily ins and outs of a married man's mind! The constant onslaught of checklists that a man has to go over in his mind to make his day go smoothly, like...."What time is the game", "Oh yeah I'm Married", "That girl is hot" and "Oh yeah never forget my wedding band" that kind of stuff!

But seriously this joint venture with my wife has been fulfilling. Allowing yourself to open up and express what is on the INSIDE is cleansing, something as men we don't do because it is interpreted as being weak among some men especially the old school group (grin and bear it, bite the bullet). My Dad could never tell me and my brothers that he loved us because and I quote "My father never expressed that feeling to me so that's why I never did it with you guys". It has only been later in life that he has started to loosen up and express how he feels about his family.

I say when you start to get older you start thinking about how you are going to get into heaven (get on the usher board, church choir, start doing charity work, etc.) and tell your son you love him. But with all honesty I luv the old man.

To my wife whom I love the ground she walks on, we will run into many speed bumps in our life but together we will smooth all of them out!

If Only I Could be Called "Mommy"

So we took a break from this whole blogging thing, but after much conversation we have decided to go at it again on consistent basis. We even put it on a schedule so that we remember to blog at least twice a week. Pray for us a we continue this journey of marriage and consistency in our blogging. I once heard that you have to do something for 21 days consecutively to be consistent at it, my challenge is sometimes I struggle doing things for 21 minutes!!!

As Mother's Day quickly approaches sometimes I can't help but be jealous of all of you blessed mom's out there. Exactly one year to this day John and I lost our third baby. On May 5, 2008 what started as an exciting day for us, turned out to be another tragic one.

With great anticipation we knew that this was our time, FINALLY. We had been together for 7 years, of that 7 we had been married for almost 5 and we were ready to share the love we have for each other with a little John or Kenya (for those of you that know us that is kind of a scary thought). As I waited for John to meet me at the doctor's office I began to have this awful pain and knew something was not right. Having had 2 miscarriages before I know ALL the signs of a miscarriage in the making. When John arrived I was crying and I told him "I think we have lost this one" in such a comforting way he said "It's going to be okay, don't say that wait until the ultrasound" but deep inside I knew it was not going to be okay. When the nurse called us back and our ultrasound was started there was nothing, our little one was GONE. The way I looked at he/she had joined his other little brothers or sisters in heaven, but how could God do this to me/us AGAIN!! He had allowed all of these other people to have children that surely did not seem worthy in my eyes or did not want them, some even being blessed with 3, 4, and 5 and we can't have 1. Angry was not the word to explain how I was feeling.

The week before I was given an ultrasound because having had 2 miscarriages before any slight pain I felt I was headed to doctor's during the first couple of weeks of my pregnancy. The last trip I was told that I would have to wait about 3 hours before I could be seen for an ultrasound, but my doctor thought it was best so that I could see that things were going "okay". That day I was able to see the development of our 3rd child I was so excited for John to experience this with me within the next 2 weeks, but unfortunately that day never came. I now know that everything happens for a reason, and just because it is your plan it may not be God's plan. So we patiently wait for God's plan to take place.

I still do not know why the 3rd miscarriage affected me so much more than the 1st and 2nd, afterall I really never gave a second thought to being a "Mommy" on Mother's Day until last year. I like to jokingly say we don't have kids because we like "OPK's" (other people's kids), but I do hope and pray that one day I can be called "Mommy" and someone that love's kids as much as we do will have the honor of loving my "OPK" as much as we love so many others.

Happy Mother's Day to All the "Mommies"!!!

The Difference

I haven't posted in a while so here it is. What is the difference between a good husband and a bad one? Well you could say the one that says nice things to his wife or cooks before his wife gets home from work, picks up his underwear off of the floor or even the one that remembers to put the toilet seat down. To me that is the bad one and I will tell you why! Those are all gimmes you don't get credit for that and if you're looking for the Nobel Peace Prize because you're doing that I got a a nudist farm to sell you in the back of the White House. Trust me its cheap with no up keep!

The good husband is the one that realizes that he will always be the unsung hero the one that gets the tie and socks at Christmas and looks surprised every time. The one that knows his wife always looks in her closet and says "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR" and agrees with her so she doesn't feel ignored. The one that knows that sometimes the girlfriends do come first and gives his wife the room she needs. And when you get finishing playing Mr. Nice guy you ask for the FLAT SCREEN TV, THE HOAGIE SANDWICH, THE WIFE IN LINGERIE AND PROCLAIM MISSION ACCOMPLISH!

The Comfort of Home From Her

I have spent the last 5 days in High Point, NC at the fall furniture market. Purple, Grey/Silver, Metallic, Blue, and Yellow are all colors that you will see coming out on furniture in the next couple of months!! I had a great time hanging out with my co-workers, but I do have to say that the blisters I received on my feet from walking the 1,000's of sq feet of showroom space were not quite as exciting. Who would have imagined that there is that much furniture out there to be sold. After my 6th trip to market I am still amazed. That is definitely a story for another blog though.

You never really know how much you miss the comforts of home until you are away! While it was nice to get the break from Noble (our lovely dog) whining because he is not getting enough attention, food, belly rubs, etc. It was also nice get a break from hearing "What's for dinner, are you cooking tonight" "We are out of towels are there any in the dryer" or my favorite "Are you watching that on TV can I change the channel" usually I want to say "No I am just sitting here looking at the TV but I am not watching it". Now I am not complaining, because I know that there are many women that would love to have this problem and probably many woman that love the fact that they do not. I just happen to one of the ones that does not mind having the problem and appreciate the fact that I have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally (mood swings and all) because boy was I in a mood when I got home today. I am sure he will post a blog on that. I often hear my co-workers and friends say "Marriage is easy now just wait until you have kids" I have to say that I disagree there is not any marriage or relationship that is easy no matter what the situation. If they were easy then everyone would be in one!! I will agree that adding kids to the mix makes it a bit more challenging, but what is life without a challenge.

Since I arrived home this afternoon, my dear husband has cooked dinner, unpacked my bags, washed the towels, and even let me watch what I wanted to on TV tonight (until about 10:30 :-). While I did enjoy being away for a few days, it was nice to come back and enjoy the ALL "The Comforts of Home"

The Cake Eaters From Him

The reality of a marriage is that it is hard work; an occupation that doesn't pay for overtime. With that said the first year is filled with carnal lust. Everyone looks good in the dark and everyone looks good in the daylight. What happens when year one turns into year 5, 6, or 7; we disillusion ourselves with the idea that the same love (oops I mean lust) transcends into something that is beautiful, but in fact what we make beautiful comes from hard work.

Now this monumental undertaking often ends up in a set of circumstances called divorce. In my mind divorce is what happens when people stop being selfless and start becoming selfish, if you remember this you will always remain grounded. I am not saying that I am perfect, because I am just as human as you and sometimes loose my way. You can only be judged not by your peers, but by your significant other, because the problems always begin behind closed doors. I love my wife dearly, but in order to keep her it is going to take some work.

Driving Home

You wake up every morning to the achieve the necessary things to start your day (brush your teeth, shower, and put on your clothes) and you yell as you get in your car "Carpe Diem" Somehow amongst the 8 plus hours "Carpe Diem" turns into dead "Carp"; you ask yourself one question am I working for the better things in life or am I working to have necessary benefits and insurance policies for my wife when I kick off. Let's face it statistically they live longer than us. While you are thinking about that muscle car at 40, or that really cool motorcycle, your arteries are getting harder and it gets a litte bit more difficult for you to get out of the bed each morning. Basically what I am saying "Kill your ego, cherish what is important first, and worry about the selfish things later" When and if those particular things come to fruition and you get everything you ever wanted it's all just one big estate sale waiting to happen and your wife will be holding the sign.